Had that Dude Shakespeare written The Big Lebowski
The are a million things that we could set aside every day to wonder “what if” about. But, to us, there can be no greater intellectual speculation than to wonder what our world would be like had William Shakespeare written The Big Lebowski. While many of us will sit and actually ponder that, one man has chosen to seriously explore it. Sometimes there’s a man, a man who steps forward to change the world as few else could. We give you Adam Bertocci and he gives us “The Knave” Geoffrey Lebowski.
Bertocci is a screenwriter and filmmaker who relishes in parody on a grand scale. He’s done the Chopped-Off Hands of Star Wars as well as a great literal video version of Ghostbusters. We’re fans of his entire body of work but hands down his best effort yet has to be Lebowski.
Here’s his passage from the scene when The Dude is ready to light up in front of the uptight Lebowski who he has come to visit in hope of getting his rug restored after it has been grossly urinated on by thugs at the film’s beginning.
THE KNAVE
I aim to smoke of the pipe, if that betides your lordship’s right good health.
LEBOWSKI
Behold my trappings and my suits of woe;
Alas for Bonnie! So loving to her, I;
She is the light broke forth through yonder window,
From which my life is seen anew, the Sun
And Moon in equal measures, shining thus
On souls starved sick for want of luminescence.
And now do women’s weapons, water-drops,
Stain my man’s cheeks; a marvel fair—
But do you take surprise to mark my tears?
THE KNAVE
Harking, nay. If wetness be the cost of love, weep on.
This is an abridged version of the film. But it’s an adaptation like you cannot imagine and if you ever earnestly read Shakespeare then you really have to stand back in awe of his imagination, accomplishment and genuine love for both The Coen Brothers and William Shakespeare.
John Tuturo’s Jesus Quintana character is totally sick.
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Scott Herold
